First and Last
by Aya Saibara
Summary: Leia Trevelyan wanted to make things clear. But she was damn clumsy... /TRANSLATION OF MY FRENCH FANFIC "PREMIER ET DERNIER"/


**A/N :** **Hey guys ! So, first of all : I'm not english, I'm French, so I know that there are MANY mistakes in my OS. I hope it'd be understandable though ! I bought Inquisition last month and I completely fell in love with Cullen, and his romance with the Inquisition is WAY TOO CUTE. Anyway, I hope you'll like the story (and understand it haha)**

* * *

Everyone knew who was Leia Trevelyan as the Inquisitor. She became the only hope of a world ready to fall into chaos. Why ? Because she had the power to close this Breach in the sky. This giant hole that scared everyone, Templars, but also Mages and Priests. She was the last hope to save the world. But people had to accept that even if she bears the Anchor, she still was a normal human: she had passions, hobbies and had her own personality. Her friends, who created the new Inquisition, knew all too well who she really was. She was wise and calm. She laughed easily, and helped people in need. On the battlefield, she took hard decisions sometimes, but at Skyhold ? No, at Skyhold, she was only Leia, a 23-year-old woman, whose biggest passion was fighting. Her parents always disagreed with her fighting the whole time for anything. She loved to strike. It was her way to communicate. She was not a violent woman, not in the slighest, but she loved swords. And bows. Leia tried each kind of weapon, she even tried wizardry, but at last, she picked swords. She's already been asked to join the Templars when she was young, but she turn down the offer. She knew Templars hated Mages because they had powers. Mages were disregarded because they could use Blood Magic, but did we take time to tell the Templar that their swords were just as deadly as the Blood Magic ? So, Leia chose to live on her own, as a normal noble woman.

Her being at the Conclave wasn't an accident though. Her parents were nobles from Ostwick. And for a reason that she didn't know, they all gathered at the Conclave. But whether were the reasons why her family has been reunited at the Conclave, every one of them is dead now. She was the only survivor. With a weird thing on her hand in addition. And so, there she was, three months later, leader of the Inquisition, bearing a burden heavier than the world itself. All her life, she had dreamt that her combat trainings would be useful someday. All her life, she had hoped to live a different life. But she didn't asked for that life. That life where she was worshipped because she was the Inquisitor and no more Leia Trevelyan. But she had been lucky, she had friends there. And she got used to that life.

Those who knew her best knew what word suited her best : she was clumsy. And she hided this embarassment with a lovely smile. Most guys would fall for her if they saw that smile of hers. And there was one person in Skyhold, who was sensitive to the Inquisitor's smiles. This person was no one else but the Commander of the Inquisition, Cullen Rutherford. He didn't trust her at all when they first met, but he ended up believing in the woman when she survived at the attack at Haven. Since then, they had talked together, they got to know one another, and they figured out they weren't that different from each other. At least, they had one common point: they were easily embarassed. Despite his status thanks to what he had gained his soldiers' respect, Cullen was a man. Even if his life has been completely torn apart, filled with chaos, treachery and violence, he still had hope. He found the way of the Light, not thanks for the prayers – in which he didn't truly believed in – but thanks to the Inquisitor and the friends he now has.

The respect and admiration he had towards Leia mutated in something stronger over time. It was far more than attraction, it was something that he had never felt until now. He wanted to spend time with her, to learn more about her, to become the man towards who she will speak if she's not feeling well... But now was not the time. They still had a world to save, plus it was impossible that she may feel something for him.

And yet, he believed it. More than once, he thought there could have been something between them. Even though he denied it at first, Varric gave him doubts. He said that he noticed she looked ten thousand times more lovely when she was with the Commander than other people. And now that he said it, it was true. She acted differently when the Commander was around. And there has been this one time when they spoke briefly about their relationships: Cullen told her that he never had any relationships and that he never thought about it. Not even once. Leia just stated that she was waiting for the good person, because he would be "her first and last". And that made a second common point: they were both shy and had no experiences in relationships. That was promising.

* * *

Despite the fact that she had the weight of the world to carry on her shoulders, Leia wasn't ready to give up yet. She took days off sometimes. It was rare, but it happened. She couldn't sleep more than three hours a night... As the Commander. That was the third common point. She never denied it, but he was particularly attractive and amazingly good-looking. He's been the first one to see her as Leia, not as the Inquisitor, and she really appreciated that. Being the Inquisitor wasn't that easy.

Today was one of her days off, and she hadn't planned on doing anything particular, if not helping Josephine with some reports, and... for the time being, that's all that she had to do. She woke up, got out of her bed, tied her long dark hair, got all dressed up and went downstairs. She greeted all the people there, in the great hall. She loved the atmosphere here at Skyhold. But for how long ? She didn't know. But that was the reason why she was fighting this war in the first place. To see people smiling and give them hope to keep on living. If she could be help to others, then she would pay the price, no matter what it was. She opened the door on her right to stand in front of the Ambassador. Josephine was a young Antivan noble. She was really kind. Leia couldn't say how old she was. She didn't look as old as her and yet, she had more experience then the Inquisitor ! Leia really admired her. And she didn't deny it. When Josephine noticed the Inquisitor stepping in the room, she greeted her and invited her to come near her.

\- Are you sure you want to help ? You should stay in bed for this special day, she said.

Because yes, today was a special day. It was her birthday. She was 23. She didn't really enjoy parties and all that stuff, but now that her family was gone, she regretted it not having spend more time with them. And it was to atone that she had chosen this very day to rest a little. She'd go thinking at what she could have done, at the things she could've said in the garden or around the barracks, she didn't give it much thought for now. But she really had to.

\- Don't worry, I wouldn't have proposed if I wouldn't want to do it, the Inquisitor answered with a beautiful smile.

Josephine appreciated the help.

\- You only have to give these reports to the Commander, the Antivan asserted, without hiding the smirk that was coming up her lips.

She knew very well that something was blossoming between her two friends, and she was impatient to see how it'll go. Far, she hoped. But if she could help them in some way, she'd like it even more. Leia agreeded and took the reports in her hands before leaving the room, not paying attention to the discreet laugh coming from the Antivan.

* * *

Leia took a deep breath before knocking at the door of the Commander's office. The more days passed, the more they were close to each other. A few days ago, they almost held hands. It was Varric who saw them, and knwoing him, what kind of story could he tell the others ! _C'mon Leia, you're the Inquisitor, these are just documents, nothing complicated._ She knocked three times and stepped into the office when Cullen told her so. By the look he was giving her, she could say that he didn't expect her to come here. He straightened and stood up next to his desk, while Leia stood at the door threshold, mouth wide open, holding tightly the files in her arms.

\- Uhh..., she started.

This was it, she was being ridiculous !

\- Everything's alright ?, the Commander asked.

\- Ah, uh, here, reports that Josephine gave me !

She came closer to Cullen to hand him the files, but lost her balance and fell on the ground. All of the files flew in the air before touching the red carpet in the man's office, the man who was standing just in front of her. One of the documents fell on the Inquisitor's hair. She blew, hoping it would be enough to make it drop on the carpet. The Inquisitor was clumsy, as it has been said before. More than anyone else. After having (finally) drop the paper on the floor, she noted with astonishment all the mess she's done, all over the room. She rose up, panicking, and ran to pick the papers up as fast as she could.

\- Oh no, Josephine's documents! Ah, I'm so stupid!, she exclaimed, crawling.

Then, she heard a laugh. She had totally forgotten that Cullen was still here. And more importently... that he's seen the whole thing. _Oh no, what will he think about me now ?_ _You're a genius, Leia, really._ Feeling her cheeks blushing, she bowed her head. Cullen stepped closer, and gave her a hand to pick up the papers.

\- Seeing you like that, you seem like a typical woman, he said.

The Inquisitor lifted her head at her friend's comment.

\- But I am nothing but typical woman, Cullen.

Noticing the changing of expression of the Inquisitor, Cullen cleared his throat and focused on the task at hand. Of course she was typical. And she has shown it him more than once. He jumped on the occasion to look at her while she was picking up the papers. He had no words to describe our gorgeous the woman was. He wanted to touch her, at least once. He shood his head to let go of these thoughts and rose up to take the documents Leia was handing him. He put it down on his desk.

\- You should rest, you need it. We don't take days off for doing such work, you know, the Commander recommanded, smiling.

Leia hold her hands and smiled back. Even a blind person could understand that she was in love with him. If even him of all people didn't notice...

\- It's the only thing I'll do today, don't worry. Plus, I got to see you, it's good enough, she said, a little hesitant.

Then she realized that she's just said. She prayed to the Maker, Andraste, the Divine or whatever so he would not pay attention to her last sentence. But he heard it, very well. And he couldn't help but smile. Noticing that Leia was panicking, he ignored what she said.

\- What are you going to... do today ?

He sighed. He was clearly asking her out.

\- Uh, I... I mean... What are your plans ?

\- I think I'll move around a little and... relax. Yes, relax.

\- Oh. Very well, then ! Have a good day !

Whether it was him or her, both were disappointed. Cullen wanted to spend time with her, and it was true that he had intented to spend her day off with him. But on the other side, she didn't want to bother her. If she wanted to rest, that was not because she wanted to spend the whole day speaking to somebody else. Leia cursed herself for lying to him. She would've proposed him to come with her. But anyway, the day was not over.

* * *

Nightfall came fast. Leia didn't leave the barracks, in front of Cullen's office, and he didn't leave his room for the day. She had no idea what time it was, but stars were up in the sky. She may there for more than ten hours... She had spent the whole afternoon thinking of her parents, of their smiles and all these times when she got caught playing hide and seek in the castle. As a noblewoman, she had to act like one. But she didn't want that life, she wanted to feel free ! But Leia regretted all of that. She should have listened to her parents, and she should have been happy for having a family. She would go back time and stopped them from going to the Conclave.. but what's done is done, now.

She leaned near a wall, closed her eyes and breathed the fresh air. She felt... fine. Life here wasn't that bad after all.

\- Inquisitor ?

She jumped. Cullen was finally out of his room. She hided her cheeks the more she could and put her hands behind her back.

\- Ah, there you are.

\- Were you waiting for me ?

\- Yes, she said with a gentle voice, almost whispering. Well, no, I mean... Ah... I was... planning on asking you to walk with me this afternoon but I didn't, umm...

Head down, she hided her face. Her hair – now untied – hided it.

\- I didn't have the courage.

His steps guided him towards the young woman and standing close to her, he looked at the scenery. He was now certain that she felt something for him. Maybe not the same thing that he felt for her, but she was clearly something.

\- What have you done all this time ?, he asked.

\- I thought about my family. At everything I've done and not done, at the good and bad things too. You know... When I started all this, I wasn't certain that we were doing what was best but having thought of everything I've left behind all day long... It helped. I want to protect everyone's smile, helping each family...

Cullen smiled.

\- And cure your clumsiness would help you too, I'm sure of it, he said, laughing.

Leia stopped and hit gently Cullen's arm.

\- It's not my fault, I've always been like that!, she replied.

The Commander of the Inquisition let out a second laugh and looked deeply into Leia's eyes. All of their hopes were in her hands... But he believed in their victory. He believed in the Inquisition, in their victory but more specifically, he believed in Leia Trevelyan. She helped him a lot, without paying attention. Whether by being near him often, or talking to him as a friend and not as Inquisitor / commander, or the fact that she helped to fight his past... She's done so much for him. And him ? What he did do to thank her ? Nothing.

\- It's good to see that the Inquisitor stays herself after all of that, he whispered.

\- Leia.

\- I beg your pardon ?

\- Just call me Leia.

\- Oh. Very well, Inq- Leia.

The truth is that Leia stayed here the whole day to get to spend time with Cullen, just as he wanted. But she was way too shy. And she was certain that he had better to do. But now that she thought about it, he never refused anything from her. Maybe he has done this because she was the Inquisitor ? No, he wasn't like that. Leia knew that Cullen saw her as Leia and not the Inquisitor. He was certainly afraid to be too familiar towards her. The weird relationship they had was enough for her, until now. Now that she realized she was in love with him, she wanted more. But how could she know what he wanted ? She shook her head and looked at the sky. The stars shined bright, it was beautiful.

An awkward silence grew between the two friends. But they were there, together, and that was what was important. Leia took a deep breath. She had to face her own shyness. If no one made the first step, nothing will change. She turned to look at Cullen's face.

\- Close your eyes.

\- What ?

\- Just close them.

And so he did. She had to say that she felt for him, to tell him that she loved him. And she couldn't think of a better way to show her feelings. Reluctantly, she stepped closer and put her hands on his cheeks. She knew Cullen would open his eyes, so she asked not to open them again. Then she crushed her lips on his. Her hands were still on his cheeks. Cullen needed time to realize what was happening, but he finally deepened the kiss and encircled the woman's waist with his arms. He couldn't believe it. It was too perfect to be real.

They stood like this some times, then Leia stepped back. She put her forehead on his and breathed. For the first time since she was the Inquisitor, everything felt right. Everything felt fair. Eyes closed, she added:

\- Maybe I'll die tomorrow. Or maybe in a week, but I'd be really happy if you could be the first and last man I want to be with, she whispered.

Cullen kissed her as an answer. He couldn't be happier than now.

\- For the time being, we live. It's the only thing that matters.

* * *

Some days have passed since then. Cullen and Leia were still the same, their life hadn't changed. But now, they were together. No one officialy announced that the two of them were dating but everyone knew. Sat on a bench in the garden, Leia looked at the window of Cullen's office. She hoped he would see her from where she stood.

Cullen was buried in work. It was the price he had to pay for leading an army after all. But even though, he had to take a break. When he' clear his mind, he looked at the window. And that's what he did. His eyes crossed Leia's. Then, she stood up from the bench and ran towards the stairs. She could see him better now. She pointed a finger at herself, then drew a heart with her fingers and at last, pointed him. _I love you_. That's all the Commander needed to get back to work. In high spirits.

* * *

 **I don't know if I'll be able to translate the upcoming OS in english ('cause yeah I'll write more about CullenxInquisitor I SHIP IT I NEED FANFICS ABOUT THEM) because it's a lot of work, and I don't think it'll be that useful, I don't want to spend 5hours on a thing that only 10 people will read. But I'll think about it. I hope you liked it !**


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